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It does tend to be more common that women will label themselves as a relationship masochist then men do. A few of the topics within this article includes; my explanation of what a relationship masochist is, the cause, why it is so difficult to walk away when in a bad relationship, and 5 tips for the person who wants to make a healthy relationship change.

“A condition in which sexual or other gratification depends on one’s suffering physical pain or humiliation”.

There is Sexual Masochism, which is considered to be a paraphilia (or sexual disorder) within the DSM (consisting of “recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving the act (real, not simulated) of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer”, which suffering may be self or partner-induced), and then there is a more general and informal sense of the word which probably just refers to someone who someone who seeks out pain in physical and emotional forms.

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In my work with both genders, I help men and women to understand their relational needs and help them to help themselves in choosing to make healthy relationship choices.

I am not one to label a woman nor a man as a “relationship masochist”, even when making unhealthy relationship choices.

The earliest references to the term masochism was coined in reference to a psychosexual disorder, which referred to the achievement of sexual excitement through abuse or humiliation.

Other early psychoanalysts talked about the masochistic character is those of whom continually complain, demand and engage in self-debasement, a tendency toward feeling insignificant, worthless, and a dependency on the benevolence of others.

If your thing requires you to harm yourself in a way that debilitates you in any significant fashion (such as carving your arms or burning yourself, or exposing yourself to repeated humiliating acts that disturb you (even if they fascinate you too) that is not really okay, and psychotherapy with an understanding therapist would appear to be a good idea.