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If you can't hook up in NYC, nothing we can say or do will help you.If you’ve ever spent an hour watching C-SPAN, then you understand why DC has nearly four bars for every thousand people: making laws will drive you to drink.

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Nearly 34% of the city's population is single, and while the male-female ratio is almost even, a lot of those people are, in fact, horny college kids. With six bars for every thousand people and a population that's 35% single, the 29th-most-active Tinder town also boasts So Ho, one of the sexiest neighborhoods in America.

Until very recently, if you said you had a “hookup” in Oakland people usually thought it was for automatic weapons or crack.

But (THANK YOU HIPSTERS) the newly-gentrified East Bay is now the nation’s 21st-most-active Tinder market, and over 35% of its population is single.