There are times when it seems that if I were a white woman it might be easier for me to find a black man with my level of education who didn't have hangups about the perceived overriding strength, independence, attitude of today's single women so that we could be together.But I know that the man I'm supposed to be with, regardless of his race, is out there and we just have to meet each other.In a long and storied dating life, I've only had meaningful relationships with a few black men. Of course, our numbers (black women) are greater and many more of us are single, but that's sociological and statistical in a way that love never is.
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The more education I got - from boarding school to Vassar, from Vassar to living in four different cities as a reporter, then in graduate school -- the more this seemed to be so.
I was in Seattle, after living in Houston and East Texas, when I made the choice to ultimately drop or at least make an ongoing effort to drop any perceived betrayal or feelings of rejection related to black men dating outside of the race.
I don't think you can grow up in difficult circumstances without being a little spiritually and emotionally resilient or tough, but for whatever reason, I was never as much of a thug as I wanted to be. Some of this had to do with being a skinny girl in an environment where black and Latina women were preferred and considered attractive if they had hourglass figures.